Dated : August 2008

1. Tick the boxes below for yourself (if you are a Befriendee) OR for your Befriendee (if you are a Befriender)…
• JOR is a Journey. The Befriendee clearly knows that it is NOT a one time decision. ?
• JOR is a daily journey and the Befriendee should take it one day at a time. Daily considering ones thoughts, words & actions. ?
• Even the smallest improvements should be counted and be praised for. The Befriendee gives oneself credit for it. ?
• Going through the JOR is like climbing a mountain. The Befriendee might sometimes slip and even fall. If that happens, one gets up and move on – continue climbing! ?
• The Befriendee doesn’t go through ones JOR alone. One insists on accountability partners. ?
• The Befriendee interacts & shares with others who are also going through the JOR. ?
• The Befriendee encourages others who are in their JOR even while one is still struggling oneself. ?
• The Befriendee gets involve with people, activities and places that help in ones JOR. ?
• The Befriendee cut loose of people, activities and places that do not help in ones JOR. ?
• The Befriendee reads / views materials (books, websites, movies & etc) that encourage one in ones JOR. ?
• The Befriendee does not read / view materials (books, websites, movies & etc) that discourage one in ones JOR. ?
• The Befriendee gets continuous help from ministries, befrienders, counselors, pastors & etc that is willing to help one in ones JOR. ?
• The Befriendee realizes that every JOR is unique. So one does not constantly negatively compare ones JOR with other Befriendees. ?

2. Is the Befriendee serious about ones JOR?
POINTS Remarks
10-13 The Befriendee is very serious. One will definitely end up becoming a successful ex-gay individual. Keep it up!
8-9 The Befriendee is serious. Good job but you can do more.
6-7 The Befriendee is an average. Does one really want this? If yes – don’t wait … start getting serious now.
4-5 The Befriendee is not serious enough. Why is one in the JOR in the first place? Start thinking.
0-3 The Befriendee is wasting everybody’s time. Wake up or forget about ones whole JOR

3. It is really good to keep a JOR Journal. Humans are visual beings. We remember better when we write things down. DAILY write these things down in your JOR Journal…
Minor victories / improvements Little victories matters in a JOR.
Major victories / improvements Reward yourself when this happens
Minor mistakes So the Befriendee will be reminded not to repeat them
Major mistakes The Befriendee can’t afford to repeat them
Antecedent of my mistakes Antecedent leads to Behavior leads to Consequences
Duration of me staying clean If the Befriendee can do it once, one can do it again
etc

*Sharing Session
• Please share one of the Befriendee’s major struggle in ones JOR
• What can the Befriender do to help in that major struggler?