Dated : June 2008

1. The Barrier Issue is a disability to think of people of the opposite gender as romantic / sexual partners.

2. General information about the Barrier Issue….
a) It can exist in a person - mildly, moderately or severely
b) It is a human issue - NOT a homosexual issue
c) One could be having it - without him/her even being aware
d) Just because one has it – it does not mean he / she is gay
e) No one is born with any Barrier Issue
f) It is the consequences of a certain experience of the past
g) It can be developed at childhood, teen hood or adulthood
h) It can be stagnant, worsen or be resolved

3. Some reasons for the occurrence of the Barrier Issue…
a) Barrier Issue (Gender Confusion)
Growing up being the only one of the opposite gender in the home environment
Growing up being treated as the opposite gender
b) Barrier Issue (Negative Experience)
Being around people of the opposite gender who are abusive
Have been abused verbally / emotionally / mentally / physically / sexually by others of the opposite gender

4. Some symptoms of the Barrier Issue…
a) Barrier Issue (Gender Confusion)
When one thinks of himself as the opposite gender
When one treats others of the opposite gender as though they are of the same gender
b) Barrier Issue (Negative Experience)
When one is afraid to be close with others of the opposite gender
When one hates being around others of the opposite gender
c) Barrier Issue (General)
When one struggles when it comes to dating the opposite gender
When one shuts the door when it comes to marriage

5. How does the Barrier Issue lead one to homosexuality…?
a) Barrier Issue (Gender Confusion)
One looks at him/herself as the opposite gender (E.G. Stephen looks at himself as female)
The opposite gender is now looked at as the same gender (Stephen looks at women as his same gender)
So the people of the same gender are looked at as the opposite gender (Stephen looks at men as the opposite gender)
Men become the potential romantic / sexual partners
b) Barrier Issue (Negative Experience)
The Barrier issue causes the individual to look at others as “monsters” (E.G. Susan who was raped starts looking at men as monsters)
People are sexual beings (Susan – being human … is a sexual being)
So between “monsters” and women – Susan will surely choose women to express herself romantically / sexually

6. Steps of resolving the Barrier Issues…
a) Barrier Issue (Gender Confusion)
Learning & unlearning that each gender is beautiful and different
b) Barrier Issue (Negative Experience)
Learning & unlearning that NOT all people of the opposite gender are monsters
c) Barrier Issue (General)
Going through the JOR (Journey of Recovery)
Counseling – experiencing a change of mindset concerning people of the opposite gender and one’s own gender
Being open to dating others of the opposite gender

7. In the JOR (Journey of Recovery) – the Barrier Issue is dealt in the third season which is called “The Dating Season”.
Dating (in the JOR) is neither a committed relationship nor a LTR (Long Term Relationship)
Dating is when two people of the opposite genders spend quality time with each other while acknowledging that they are the complimentary gender to the other party (each being a unique gender)
There is NO perfect date
The Befriendee should not stop dating if after experiencing an unsuccessful date
A date is NOT a platonic meeting
It is advisable for the Befriendee to start dating even at admiration (even while attraction does not exist yet)
Spending quality time with an impossible LTR… e.g. a married person, a family member & etc is not considered a date
Any date is a potential LTR
A date does not take place unless the Befriendee is open to the idea of dating
Lots of learning and unlearning needs to take place before the Befriendee can enjoy fruitful dating (practice makes perfect)
*Sharing Session…
1. How was your relationship with your opposite gender parent as a child?
2. Have you had a successful romantic relationship with someone of the opposite gender?
3. If no – can you share why? If yes – can you share the beauty and then the challenges you experience in that relationship.